Keeping it Real

woman driving with windows rolled down

This probably isn’t going to be pretty, so consider yourself warned.

I know there are people that like their stitching blogs to contain lots of stitching, lots of pics, and pretend you don’t have a life…because they don’t want to hear about it. Well, ok…I am crossing that line. Today was not happy happy and I feel like I am in meltdown mode. I have to give thanks to mj, who pointed out that lilies are deadly to cats. So, after much crying, and a frantic call to my vet, while at work, I have been assured that all is most likely fine with Mr. Romeo. The lilies went out with the trash this morning fortuitously, I suppose, because both Eric and I were sneezing because of them. So, thanks to this website, I am now a more informed person, and hopefully will avoid being the horrible cat mom that I feel like now. I am keeping an eye on Romeo, and hope he’s ok. Also, today, I received an email from Friend Who Went AWOL. I am bitter. I know I am bitter. I know I should work through it and move on, but frankly, I am still pissed. And each time she pops her head in and acts as if we are still buddy buddy, it pisses me off. Part of me feels like I should just respond and chit chat and make like it’s all fine, part of me doesn’t want to respond to her, part of me knows that I should probably address the issue. But, regardless, I didn’t need it today. I have another friend, who won’t respond to my emails. I don’t even know what to say to that one. Sometimes, life just feels hard, sometimes past stuff that you’ve dealt with over and over, comes up again, and while you get to look at it in a different way, from a different place in your life, you’re still looking at it. I know that I am completely rambling, and if I had good sense, I would delete this post and move on back to happy happy land. Is it possible that you can be loved and cared for and have a really amazing life, and still feel lonely sometimes? And it seems like the things that are getting to me are all so trivial. My SIL made a derogatory comment about my sheep (you know the one with the blankets, except she called it a cow). Yeah, maybe a sheep on my mantel falls into the category of tacky, or at the very least kitschy, but back off of my damn sheep. Because, frankly, it is tacky to come to someone’s home and make derogatory comments about anything. Ok, I think I’ve had enough self-pity, and like I said, I am obviously rambling and not writing anything of general interest here. But, thanks for letting me.

The only thing that seemed to make it better today was driving home with the windows rolled down and Beyoncé’s cd turned up.

I am grateful for Crazy Aunt Purl.

15 thoughts on “Keeping it Real”

  1. ((hugs))

    As for the issue of blog content: My own blog was my blog long before I started talking about crafts on it. Then I started scrapbooking so I naturally posted about it. Then stitching, then knitting, etc. I don’t particularly have any patience for those who feel that a blog has to be one thing or another. So, post what you want 🙂

  2. Actually, I’m relieved that I’m not the only one. I will point out that I purchased exactly TWO Christmas dinner plates and two dessert plates because that’s all there will be at our Christmas dinner this year because of a whole lot of pointless crap from my family, and I put my foot down finally, and the plates and the crazed Christmas craftiness are my response to feeling adrift and sad and completely superfluous. And it’s only September! So your post, as much as I feel for you–and I DO–made me feel less alone. I have a formerly dear friend carrying on a repulsive affair with someone so flagrantly and being so smug about prying him away from his little miserable family that I feel I don’t know her even if she had time any more to even inquire about me. I suspect behind the neat and tidy blogs, a lot of us are compulsively creating and crafting and showing-and-telling because sure, it’s fun and artistic, but it’s also a nice way (I’ll speak for myself here) of sidestepping some occasional IRL emptiness. If SIL doesn’t know a sheep from a goat from a cow, to heck with her. WE know and appreciate said sheep. And as for the possible lily-eating cat, Crazy Aunt Purl went through that just a few months ago, and the cat (was it Roy?) was just fine, although his mouth was all stained yellow from the pollen. So you’re allowed–no, ENCOURAGED–to blog freely and honestly. Life is sometimes a bitter f-ing pill to swallow, even when we’re remembering the things we feel grateful for!

  3. We all do deal with stuff in our lives and I’m glad you went ahead and ranted a little on your blog. I hope tomorrow things look brighter for you.

  4. Sometimes you need to let off steam somewhere – I think (hope) we all realise that {{{hugs}}}

    And for what it’s worth – I love your sheep and I have an ex friend that sounds like yours. She was extremely nasty to me and DH and then pretended it had never happened. I stopped taking her calls – life is too short 🙂 And the loneliest place can be in a crowd {{{more hugs}}}

  5. I can definitely relate with the SIL thing. I don’t get on with mine terribly well and she’d probably have made a similar remark about the sheep.

    {{{{{{Hugs}}}}}}} to you – glad that Romeo is OK and that you have a better day today. We have two cats and I love lilies – I buy them less now but we’ve never had any disasters, cat-wise.

  6. ((((Michelle)))) Some days are just like that… And yes, it’s totally normal to feel one is blessed with a wonderful life and lots of love, and still be feeling lonely sometimes.

    I know what you mean about the pain of friends going MIA for months – or years! – and then coming back and pretending nothing happened. Like Nicki said, life is too short for that stuff, and you have other persons in your life who deserve you focus on them 🙂

    Personally I think your sheep is just adorable!! 😉

    I’m sure today will be a better day 🙂 Keep us posted on Romeo! 🙂

  7. Just wanted to say hi – I’ve been reading your blog for a while but don’t think I have commented.

    I actually purchased the sheep after seeing him on your blog because I thought he was so adorable!! Now I just need to actually stitch up the blankets!

    Hope you have a better day and I think it helps to write about stuff like that 🙂

  8. Glad to hear the vet has a positive opinion on Romeo. Hope he’s back to himself soon. Don’t think of yourself as a bad cat mom, we all make mistakes without realizing animals react differently.
    That was rather thoughtless of your SIL to say. I wish more people would think before they open their mouths, we’d all get along so much better if we could just be a bit considerate of others. *sigh*

  9. Hello Michelle – have been following yr blog a little while now and thought yr sheep was really cute! Glad yr cat is ok – I have 2 cats and have had lilies in the house with no probs. You go ahead and have a good moan if you want to 🙂 you still managed to have a positive thought as the end which is one feature I really like about yr blog. ((hugs)) from a new friend. R. 🙂

  10. Michelle,

    I’m glad that your cat is ok. I know you must feel like a bad kitty mom but you made an honest mistake. Don’t beat yourself up over it. I know it’s easier said than done. As for people who won’t/don’t communicate I really don’t have any suggestions because stuff like that really gets my blood boiling too. I guess it helps to focus your thoughts and efforts elsewhere but I do know how you feel. Glad you felt you could share some of the non-craft part of your life with us.

  11. Michelle –

    You are the BEST kitty mom ever! I know your kitties and they are very well taken care of. Romeo reminds me of a story I read when I was little, “The Curious Kitten”, he was always getting into something. I do think he’s going to be okay! Don’t feel like you have to address miss ‘pop in and out’ – she’s not addressed anything (and she’s the one who should in this case – she’s been very inconsiderate of your feelings). You have lots of friends right here with you and obviously from all the comments, all over the world. Your heart is pure, your interests expand ours, you’re very creative, and you’re a good friend and those are only a few of your gifts.

  12. {{{{{{Michelle}}}}}}} I’m so glad that Mr.Romeo is okay!!! And please rant anytime you want…that’s what life is sometimes….not a neat little package but messy. I myself am not “a shiny happy people” as the REM song goes. Our dog got out a few days ago and we were sick till we found her…..we are having a pool built and the workers left the back gate slightly open and something must of caught her attention….luckily she only got 2 blocks away and we are in a gated community. But we all worry so about our pet children.

  13. Repeat after me: “I am NOT a horrible cat mom. I am NOT a horrible cat mom.”

    Now, seriously, how were you to know? You took the best action that you could once you were aware of the situation. No one can ask for anything more than that. Do you think I didn’t feel like an awful furmommy when Phoebe’s anal gland ruptured? We do the best we can with the absolute best intentions. Life doesn’t get any purer than that.

    As far as being a stitching only blog, I don’t believe that it can really be done. At least not easily. We are human, after all, and as stitchers, we are a breed that tends to feel things and experience life very deeply. Don’t stifle that. Life isn’t always a pretty little package. Personally, I think that it’s better to put it all out there so that the rest of us don’t feel like we are trying to follow in the footsteps of some non-existent perfect person.

    As for your on-again, off-again friends, you definitely need to let them know how they are making you feel. They may not realize what they are doing. I know that I’ve been neglecting my friends lately because the depression makes me anti-social. Opening up to them and talking about them lets them know how you feel, makes them aware of how their actions affect you and give them an opportunity to rectify a situation of which they may not even be aware. You owe them that much. If they don’t respond, then you don’t need friends like that in your life. Sounds simple, doesn’t it? If only it were! LOL.

    Good luck, dear lady. I know that this is just one of those rough spots in life that we all have to work through from time to time. Feel free to vent and get some meaningful input from your blog readers. It’s very healing! *hug*

    BTW, your SIL was out of line with her comment. I hope you’ll call her on it if it happens again.

  14. giggles, sorry i just got around to reading it, im so proud of you, vent on gf, i loved it. We all have our ups and downs and by golly, on a down day, let it rip, i love ya no matter what!!!!!!!!!

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